Hurling a sledgehammer at the dry wall is a handy way to add storage space for a growing collection of books, beanie babies, or sledgehammers. Explore subtler household improvements with today's Groupon: for $75, you get two hours of handyman services from Roof Toppers Home Improvement Services, which will travel to homes within the 610 Loop (a $150 value).
Roof Toppers provides fully insured roofing and general-repair needs to creaking, leaking homes. Soothe cranky walls in need of fresh paint with the soft, even brushstrokes of an experienced handyman. Basic carpentry and furniture-assembly services erase evidence of late-night base-jumping practice, and new caulking and grout inspire bathrooms and kitchens to shine. Roof Toppers' intrepid fix-it pros extend their know-how to the skies with tree trimming, perfect for aging arbors yearning for the shapely sapling physiques of their youth. Handymen can also mount flat-screen TVs, pressure-wash home exteriors, and clean foul-mouthed gutters with a heavy-duty ladder, trowel, and therapist specializing in anger management.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Winning Casino Games
Slot Machines: The fundamentals of this classic game remain largely unchanged: pull a lever to activate a scrolling panoply of numbers and fruit. If you happen to stop on a winning combination, the machine will belch treasure into your bucket. How to Win: If your slot machine is Star Wars themed, feed your coins directly into the mouth-slit of C-3PO. If you are not currently playing on a Star Wars-themed machine, the first question to ask yourself is: why not? They are available.
Roulette: This whirling game of chance challenges gamblers to predict the destination of a rollicking white marble after it is belched onto a spinning wheel emblazoned with numbered, colored grooves (18 red, 18 black, one violet).
How to Win: The roulette marble can't land in the wrong square if it doesn't land at all. Make the white marble disappear by unleashing its natural predator—a hungry, hungry hippo.
Baccarat: Appears to be some kind of card game.
How to Win: If you know the rules to baccarat, try playing against literally any opponent. You will most likely win this game of baccarat.
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