If the Indiana Jones films have taught us anything, it is that in order to have a successful teaching career, one must train one's upper body to be adept at dangling. Climb your way to the scholarly top with today’s Groupon: for $7, you get an introductory rock-climbing package at Doylestown Rock Gym, located in Doylestown, approximately a 50-minute drive from Philadelphia (a $15 value). All necessary equipment for the course, including a harness and helmet, will be provided.

Doylestown Rock Gym offers the ground-based a chance to pursue vertical mobility with a number of courses and 12,000 square feet of indoor-rock-climbing surfaces, from arêtes and caves to lead walls and imported interstate-highway overhangs. The gym's introductory package will impart the basics of rock-route navigation, climbing safety, and indoor ethics, such as how to calmly respond when a synthetic boulder heckles you about your denim shorts. The one-hour initial wall-scaling greeting includes unlimited low climbing without ropes and two high climbs belayed by professional staff adept at condensing the challenge of scaling a vertical plane into simple formulas of hand placement and rock-whispering skills. The indoor course is ideal for those new to the sport or those who haven't been bitten by radioactive mountain goats but have always wondered how the ensuing ascension skills would feel. Intro packages are limited to twelve climbers per group.