If not for healthy backbones, the spinal cord's nerves would fray and cross, causing signals like "pick up your foot" to transform into "bite your boss." Prevent workplace embarrassments with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a chiropractic-exam and massage package at Lokey Chiropractic Clinic on 11th Street (a $440 total value). The package includes:
• A consultation (a $35 value)
• An exam (a $100 value)
• An x-ray (a $170 value)
• One spinal adjustment (a $55 value)
• A 30-minute massage (an $80 value)
Lokey Chiropractic Clinic’s staff straightens and stretches stressed spines using an in-depth knowledge of anatomy and a firm, but gentle, touch. After a consultation and examination assesses the patient’s medical history and physical acumen, an x-ray reveals hidden sources of skeletal stress, whether they be misaligned vertebrae, damaged disks, or nanobots implanted by a rogue mad scientist. Based on these results, the capable chiropractors rotate and contort the patient’s head, ribcage, and pelvis to bring backs one step closer to proper alignment. A 30-minute massage tops off the spine-soothing service.
While some may experience mild discomfort during the procedure, many patients say sitting at a desk for eight hours a day isn't the same after the amiable back-benders are through with you: joints fit together, back pain vanishes, and your guilt for ditching your prom date years ago disappears. A session can also help with nerve, muscle, and organ disorders, and fight fatigue and depression.