Scuba diving allows humans an easy way to breathe underwater without having to teethe on a string of connected crazy straws or suck the air out of nearby pufferfish. Discover a more sanitary source of respiratory satiation with today's Groupon: for $25, you get an introductory group scuba-diving class (a $50 value) from Oregon Underwater. Most classes will be held at the Matt Dishman Pool on Knott Street, but class location may vary.
A five-star SDI TDI Instructor Training Center, Oregon Underwater gives landlocked merpeople access to breathtaking subaqueous worlds with scuba diving classes. A skilled instructor will first introduce students to the breathing equipment and their nephews before each nautical novice suits up and submerges in the soothingly heated water. The 30-minute guided shallow dive imparts basic scuba skills and techniques on adjusting their buoyancy. All equipment is included, allowing divers to leave masks, regulators, and foam noodles at home.
Guppies looking to further wet their fins with the big fish can seek advice from Oregon Underwater's instructors on how to work toward eventual open-water certification. Classes will be held in the morning and evenings during select days; call for the most up-to-date class schedule and latest crossword-puzzle hints.