Before the invention of speedboats, slow-moving tour ships were constantly besieged by paddleboat pirates while distracted by the verbal torpedoes of uncouth turtles. Leave surly seafarers in the wake with today's Groupon: for $12, you get a 50-minute speedboat sightseeing tour from Seadog Cruises (up to a $25 value).
Seadog Cruises' sleek speedboats maneuver wide-eyed passengers through Baltimore's historic downtown waterways, alternating between relaxed, view-encompassing narration and thrilling bursts of hair-raising acceleration. Jet-boat off from the Inner Harbor and race southeast along, below, and above the Patapsco toward Key Bridge and back while enjoying an informative tour of Baltimore's beautiful sights, including the Maryland Science Center, Federal Hill, the Baltimore Museum of Industry, and the Francis Scott Key Bridge. Each turbocharged diesel-engine speedboat holds between 108 and 135 camera-wielding seafarers and three torpedo bays for blowing apart unnecessary landmarks. The ship alternates between pumping rock music and clever, informative narration from the mouth of a swarthy sea captain.
A Seadog tour is a once-in-an-hour opportunity to show out-of-town guests the city, as well as a way for Baltimoreans to enjoy the harbor that doesn't involve grenade fishing. See Seadog's schedule for cruise times.