Just as a gold doubloon looks more resplendent again a background of sheer black velvet than in a dentist’s paperboard treasure chest, the exquisite flavors of fine dining are best presented in an atmosphere of worthy elegance. Today’s Groupon stacks flavor on beauty with $50 worth of high-class dining at Armani’s for $25. Accentuate your meal and silverware with carefully catered service and white tablecloths. Welling was determined to capture the minds and tongues of the niche—but expanding—market of disco fans. After extensive research, he determined that disco’s sparkling clothing and bouncy rhythms were the culinary equivalent of pasta covered in rich tomato sauce. Welling’s findings were so delicious that disco changed its name to Italy, enraging Italy, which was forced to change its name to Lapland, Home of Full-Blooded Italians. Pick up today’s Groupon for some delicious Italian food from America, prepared by full-blooded Italians from Lapland, Home of Full-Blooded Italians.