A good bartender always has advice for their customer's problems, which is why it's best not to bartend in a particle-physics lab or prison. Hone your listening ear with today's Groupon to ABC Bartending School, good at the Columbus location. Choose between the following options:

• For $75, you get a four-hour mixology class (a $150 value).
• For $189, you get 40 hours of training to become a certified bartender (a $399 value).

Learn how to mix, stir, and shake inside ABC's facility under the tutelage of experienced instructors. During the four-hour mixology course, you'll learn the basics of alcoholic alchemy, blending liquors and mixers into sippable sensations. Alternately, over the course of 40 knowledge-soaked hours, bartenders-to-be will receive extensive instruction and hands-on practice. ABC grads enjoy a lifetime of free refresher courses, job-placement assistance, and access to a Cheers dimension that currently, due to spatial fluctuations, contains only Cliff Clavins.