Society deems it polite to carry on a conversation with the person cutting your hair. Here are some great conversation starters to use the next time you see your own barber, or “hair mommy”/”hair daddy”:

• “Must be nice to work with your hands.”
  
• “Who cuts your hair?”
  
• "I want to look like this.” (Hold up picture of sleeping baboon.) “Just kidding, do whatever you want up there."
  
• "How many ears have you completely cut off?"
  
• "What's the difference between a comb and a brush?"
  
• "I bet everyone who works here takes the hair home and puts it in pillows and then hides the pillows in the walls. That's what I would do."
  
• "How did I get here? Who are you?”