Like young children, most inanimate objects can freely self-identify but are too afraid to expose their shoddy cursive handwriting. Give the gift of universal identity with today's Groupon—a chance to name your own star courtesy of Name A Star Live. Choose between the following options:
- For $14, you get an Instant Gift Set Plus (a $29.90 value).
- For $29, you get an Instant Gift Set Premium, with an astronomy software add-on (a $79.80 value).
Name A Star Live allows the name of a friend or loved one to become the classification of a faraway twinkling star. As in most pet adoptions, each proud parent is free to choose his or her own furry ball of plasma. A real rocket ship will launch the name and dedication message into the Earth's orbit to mark the celestial occasion. The adopted star will have only one name, which is recorded in the database, and a star certificate and astronomical star chart are instantly emailed to the honoree, which help show the star's precise location as well as coordinates needed to spot the star in the night sky.
The software included with the Premium package convinces computers to display NASA images, astronomy and space mission websites, and three-dimensional images of Mars. The premium-level gift also presents an 8.5"x11" astrophotograph of the constellation, with a detailed inset profiling the cosmological neighborhood and your star's location within it. Check your giant gaseous sphere's status at the time of naming, and revisit it again and again with the software's Virtual Planetarium to see if it has sprung any new orbiting civilizations that speak English.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Types of Dance
Dance is the best way to physically express music and the worst way to express a coherent thesis. Here's a guide to the history behind popular dance styles and what they're up to today:
• Jazz: Origin: Jazz dance was invented to go along with jazz music, which was invented to go along with whiskey and sinful thoughts about close talking with a stranger. Today: It's still one of the most sultry types of dance around, inducing wails of desire from bugles and trumpets everywhere.
• Hip-Hop: Origin: Short for hippocampus hopscotch, hip-hop is a cerebral form of dance that involves absorbing beats, thinking about them, and regurgitating them into body movements a few hours later. Today: Hip-hop is popular in movies with confrontational names, in music videos, and in nightclubs that are just live versions of music videos.
• Ballet: Origin: Ballet originated in France as a way to train people to be more graceful so that they could more easily slide out of guillotines. Today: Now it's just a really nice dance.
• Tap: Origin: When a group of schoolchildren tromped home one day through puddles of molten metal and ruined their perfectly good buckled shoes, they discovered a new type of dance used to confound adults. Today: Tap dancers stomp louder than the notes of a song so that listeners won't be hypnotized by lyrical propaganda or brain-infecting melodies.
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