While most people are comfortable consuming small amounts of poison every day to immunize themselves against a world that their species should no longer be able to thrive in, other purists prefer the chemical-free approach. What are some organic solutions to common problems?

Headaches: Though chamomile, rosemary, and ginkgo have all proven effective in easing stress headaches, dabbing your ear with a bit of honey will invite ants to crawl directly into your skull to eat out the delicious human pain. Afterwards, sneeze the ants harmlessly into the sink.

Thriving Houseplants: You can give your indoor greenery a chemical-free boost by packing your soil with crumbled egg shells, nitrogen-rich coffee grounds, or helpful worms which can be ground up in your food processor in order to make a nutrient-packed worm mash.

Cleaning Supplies: Since most housecleaning products are so toxic that you can’t drink them without becoming ill, some people have embraced the cleansing power of vinegar, which you can drink and drink and never get tired of. For a summertime treat, blend vinegar with ice and use the leftovers for a streak-free windshield.