Like a potato, the human body, if not properly mashed and moisturized, will never be used for anything more than a science project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $35, you get a half-hour massage of your choice (a $50 value) plus a shampoo and style (a $25 value) at Spa Alexis, located in the Hyatt Regency downtown.

Previously known as Sweetest Nirvana Day Spa, Spa Alexis retained the same soothing vibe and friendly, skilled spa specialists but successfully teleported their dexterous digits to a new roost downtown. Bequeath your strands to one of these sure-handed hair stylists and let him or her wet and wring your mop, cleanse and caress your scalp with silky product, and mold tresses into a charming keratin tiara that best fits your royal dome.

You’re also welcome to lay back and treat your muscles to the spa’s 30-minute personalized massage. After a quick consultation, a licensed therapist will employ his or her years of training to untie mangled knots and calm stormy tensions before setting your tranquil flesh-vessel afloat on a relaxing out-of-body cruise. Afterwards, your clean, sculpted new ‘do will rest confidently on bust of stable, fresh shoulders, ready to woo a stubborn museum curator. Call ahead to schedule your appointment.