Jobs are for work-loving stiffs who worship the gods of the nine-to-five clock. Throw off the shackles of gainful employment with these creative ways to end your job:

• If you work at a place with a counter, hop over it and pretend to be a customer. When you get to the front of the line, order the I Quit! sandwich/movie ticket/bank account.
  

• Send your boss an email telling him or her to meet you in the break room. When he or she shows up, be sawing the head off of an effigy you made of your work self.
  

• Leave a voicemail on the phone of each of your coworkers giving them a really personal compliment. They'll know that you're being too familiar for someone who could still be considered a colleague.
  

• If you work somewhere that has customers, hold them close and tell them you'll miss them. Tell them the things that have been in your heart this whole time that you couldn't express because of the unspoken boundaries between worker and customer. Let them know that though they will not see ever you in the future, you will live on in their brains like a bad brain fungus.
  

• If you're a famous movie actor, just sprinkle the letters from the words "I quit" throughout the words of the dialogue in your movie.