One of the hardest parts of writing a book is making up all the quotes that appear on the back cover. If you’re struggling to find positive descriptors for your novel, use these reviews, which are guaranteed to apply to any book:

• “This book is worth its weight in gold and by that I mean it’s fairly priced and impossible to chew through.”
  

• “If this book hasn’t been made into a movie yet, I will be shocked. I know for a fact it pairs brilliantly with popcorn.”
  

• “Nearly flawless! If you twisted my arm for a complaint, I’d tell you to stop because my bones are still re-fusing together after my fall. Then I’d tell you that I would have preferred if every character had been named Tand Manfletch.”
  

• “[Author’s name] is the voice of a new generation of young people who are unsatisfied with their cellular phone service.”
  

• “This book explores a theme we can all relate to—escaping from a metaphorical prison (bad relationship) with a literal shovel.”