Things To Do In Forest Park

Sometimes, metal can be a drag. The darkness, the self-seriousness, the preoccupation with death and destruction. On the surface, Atlanta’s Mastodon look like just another band of bearded buzzkills, what with their concept albums about Moby-Dick and Rasputin. But a closer look reveals the band’s fierce intelligence and wicked sense of humor. Song titles like “Octopus Has No Friends,” “Where Strides the Behemoth,” and “Curl of the Burl” gently poke fun at the mythological underpinnings of Mastodon’s heavy-metal music. And offstage, guitarist Brent Hinds lends his tattooed mug to any number of comedic videos. So in anticipation of Mastodon’s upcoming gig at the Riviera Theatre on Thursday, May 8, we thought it might be fun to explore the lighter side of metal. Here are eight instances where comedy reared its cackling head above the riffs and shrieks, be it intentionally or, well, not. 1. Mastodon’s Brent Hinds Stars in a Local Restaurant Commercial This ad for Elmyr, an Atlanta Mexican restaurant, parodies pharmaceutical ads with its promise to cure OHP (“Overwhelming Hunger Pains”). Hinds’s tatted-up, unkempt appearance juxtaposes hilariously with the dramatization of his “healthy lifestyle,” which includes golfing, fishing, and yoga. 2. Glenn Danzig Shares His Book Collection “Welcome to my book collection,” a shirtless Glenn Danzig says with a wink, and if that were all that existed of this video, it would still make the list. Fortunately for us, there’s more. Danzig shows off a collection of werewolf stories (“all documented, all true”) before cycling through “various books on death, anthropology of evil.” It might be too metal, were there such a thing as “too metal.” 3. Mötley Crüe’s “Too Young to Fall in Love” Video Lyrically, “Too Young to Fail in Love” is a pretty straightforward song. Girl loves guy, guy isn’t ready for a relationship, guy kills her. Wait, what? Well, the video’s even weirder. Mötley Crüe doing kung fu? Tommy Lee being a total jerk and throwing rice in some guy’s face? Must be seen to be believed. 4. Death Metal Rooster London-based metal band Talanas provide the music that underscores this much-funnier-than-it-has-any-right-to-be video. Everything about it is perfect, from the hilariously prolonged scream to the indifference of the other birds to the rooster’s look of confusion once the noise stops. 5. The Postal Service Band Auditions No, The Postal Service is not metal. They, and pretty much anything Ben Gibbard has touched, are the complete antithesis of metal. But you know who is metal? Duff McKagan of Guns N' Roses. Page Hamilton from Helmet, too. And both of them do a fine job of skewering their personas in this Funny or Die video, in which McKagan storms off and Hamilton literally slams his guitar into the amp as he shreds. 6. Dio’s “Holy Diver” Video Nearly 50 seconds of ominous ambiance underscores panning shots of a burnt-out church before Dio’s crunchy riffs kick in. It’s not long before the man himself appears, clad in medieval armor and holding a longsword. It’s as if we’re witnessing the birth of a great mythological hero, one whose luscious black locks and muscular riffs were destined to fan the flames of hell. 7. Heavy Metal Parking Lot When: 1986. Where: Landover, Maryland. Why: Judas Priest and Dokken, baby. Jeff Krulik and John Heyn’s 30-minute documentary canvasses the Capital Centre parking lot, where tailgating Priest fans chug beer, cuss, and somehow encompass an entire subculture’s ethos. Bootlegged and shared feverishly among friends, the documentary was one of the underground’s first viral videos. 8. The Black Satans’ “The Satan of Hell” Video Play music video. Mute music video. Play “Yakety Sax.” Enjoy. Mastodon will be at the Riviera Theatre on Thursday, May 8, at 7:30 p.m. Buy tickets here.

By day, Meghan Brozanic works as a social media and production coordinator for the National Association of Realtors. By night, she sheds her chrysalis and transforms into DJ Gloria Vanderbilt, spinner of pure vinyl. In this form, Brozanic has manned the turntables at such West Town and North Side establishments as Beauty Bar, The Whistler, and most regularly, The Charleston, a historical corner bar tucked away in Bucktown. It’s there that she co-hosts Champale Nights—a ‘70s and ‘80s themed set featuring smooth R&B, yacht rock, and songs by Laurel Canyon singer-songwriters—every second Saturday. Although Brozanic enjoys spinning records of the ‘70s and ‘80s, her true passion is ‘90s hip-hop and dance, which she spins occasionally during solo sets at The Whistler and Phyllis’ Musical Inn.   DJ Gloria Vanderbilt’s Top Five    1. Book currently on her nightstand: Stand and Deliver, the autobiography of Adam Ant   2. Film currently flashing across her eyelids every time she closes them: Paris is Burning, a documentary about the golden age of drag   3. Favorite new or newly discovered restaurant: Carriage House in Wicker Park, for its cornbread, low-country boil, and bourbon cocktails   4. Favorite local bartender, where to find them, and favorite thing they make: Danny Shapiro of Scofflaw and his buttered rum cocktail   5. Record store at which she’s most likely to spend an entire paycheck: Reckless Records in Wicker Park

On today’s agenda: more from the Rhinoceros Theater Festival, a burlesque face-off in River North, and the manic action of The Lego Movie. “The Extinction Project” Multimedia performance piece explores the relationship between humans and the living things we’ve pushed to the brink When a species goes extinct, what else does it take with it? That’s one of the questions at the heart of The Extinction Project, which ends its Rhinofest run at Prop Thtr (3502 N. Elston Ave.) tonight. Derek L. Barton’s show mingles surreal situations with stark reality: a live dodo hiding in a bachelor’s dirty laundry shares stage space with a multimedia examination of the horrendous imagery of 2010’s Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Ultimately, the story rests with Barton himself, who appears (in an autobiographical turn) in search of a threatened Florida tree and the answers that it can’t possibly provide. It’s not just the plants and animals that bear scrutiny—touching on issues of age, compulsion, and stewardship, Barton’s show suggests that the voids of nature only magnify in the wilderness of the human mind. (7 p.m. $12–$15; buy tickets here) Unbustled: A Burlesque Competition The city’s best burlesque performers strut through a valentine-themed competition for the chance to star in Untitled’s weekly revue The only thing better than a valentine-themed burlesque is a valentine-themed burlesque competition. This week, River North supper club Untitled (111 W. Kinzie St.) honors the season’s sporting spirit with Unbustled, a two-night contest that pits the city’s best tassel-wearers against one another in pursuit of feature spot in the bar’s weekly Unbridled at Untitled. The contest begins tonight, with semifinalists wooing judges with routines judged on costuming, stage presence, and how many audience members briefly turn into cartoon wolves. Up to eight finalists move on to the ultimate showdown on Wednesday night, but there are no losers here—audience members and performers alike can catch their breath with sip of a special Love Potion provided by spirits sponsor Cointreau. (7 p.m. Admission free with reservation; RSVP here) “The Lego Movie” Chris Pratt, Will Arnett, and Morgan Freeman (!) bring Lego’s minifigs to life in this clever yet touching animated action romp If you’re a regular reader of the agenda, you know that we love nothing more than a serious-minded film that tackles the world’s great questions with deftness and heart. However, we also love colorful blockbusters about beloved childhood toys. Fortunately, The Lego Movie is no mere cash grab. Leveraging the toy company’s numerous affiliated franchises (Hey, Superman! Hey, Shaquille O’Neal! Hey, Not-Gandalf!), cowriters and codirectors Phil Lord and Chris Miller turn in a winking, whip-smart action romp that’s appealing to kids and surprisingly deep for adults. They’re helped along by a stellar voice cast: Chris Pratt puts his Parks and Recreation work to good use as the dim but heroic Emmet, and Will Arnett taps into Batman’s underexplored egotism in a memorable turn as the Caped Crusader. (Now playing everywhere. Click here for showtimes and ticket info) Photo courtesy of The Extinction Project.