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From Our Editors

Score sparkling tusks with today’s mouthy Groupon. For $189, the smile savers at Avalon Dental will whiten, examine, x-ray, and polish your teeth, then leave you with a custom-fitted whitening tray for maintaining smile perfection, a $770 value. Additionally, you’ll receive $50 off any restorative service (fillings, crowns, bridges) valued at $100 or more.Boars: Known as the “treasurers” of the animal kingdom, they grind their tusks together to produce sharp edges in order to dig their labyrinthine, underground salt mines.Elephants: These dim-witted animals are said to “never forget,” mostly because humans constantly forget to come up with a more accurate description of elephants.Walruses: Their lives are horrible because their relatively simple brains can only experience hunger and regret. Walrus tusks are filled with gold but are not valuable because it’s curse-gold.

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