When spandex-bodysuit-clad future folk unearth our photo albums beneath mounds of George Foreman grills, they’ll deduce that people of the past had glowing red pupils and appeared curiously unfocused. Set a better example for your 24th-century post-human peers with today’s Groupon. For $59, you get a one-hour photography session and 10 digital files of your choice (a $300 value) at Adam Queen Images, plus 10% off additional services and 20% off future sessions within one year (except weddings). You and up to six others per session can choose to be photographed at the studio in Lewis Center or at an off-site location within 7 miles of I-270.

Adam Queen’s photo-snapping prowess can capture a family member’s elusive smile emerging from hibernation or convey emotions through imagery without requiring any of the people in it to wear kabuki masks. Since 2001, Adam has worked as a pro photog in such places as Mexico and Spain, and his studio of white sweep backgrounds and tabletop environments provides Columbus with a convenient locale for senior photos, baby pictures, smooching couples, and family portraits. Otherwise, you can opt to shoot at a nearby location within 7 miles of I-270 (call Adam to confirm), such as your apartment or the faerie market you stumbled upon while sleepwalking. After the shoot, you’ll obtain copyright to 10 images, as well as 20% off your next session and 10% off any prints or additional digital files you'd like to purchase. If you prove to be unusually photogenic, you can even buy the entire roll ($100).

Studio photography can improve one's image in the eyes of others even better than dating an underwear model, while bypassing the expensive dinners and bipolar mood swings that come with such an arrangement. With a laid-back environment and experienced photographer at the helm, Adam Queen Images will provide you with memorable images that make much more uplifting desktop wallpapers than your current image of an office worker weeping at the sight of his palm-tree desktop wallpaper.

Reviews

A OneWed.com reviewer gives amicable Adam Queen Images a perfect five stars:

• [Adam Queen] made us feel very relaxed and we laughed and joked the whole time. My Fiance [sic] doesn't really like getting his picture taken and the day of our photo shoot he had blast! We didn't even feel like we were being photographed it was more like just "hanging out" with a friend. – LeAnn C.