Hair is like detailed knowledge of X-Files plot lines; while extremely useful, revealing too much of it in the wrong place can sink your social life. Today's Groupon abducts rogue hairs with technology invented by a shadowy group of elites known only as the Syndicate. For $150, you get three laser hair-removal sessions at Atlantis Medical Wellness Center located in Silver Spring. Each Groupon is valid for three treatments on one specific area. Choose from the following services: underarms (a $600 value), regular bikini area (a $675 value), or full face (a $1,125 value). If you purchase two Groupons, each one must be used on a different area of the body. If it is necessary to continue treatment on the specified area after three sessions, Groupon customers will get half off the regular session price.
Atlantis's resident hair zapper, Dr. Benjamin S. Gonzalez, holds a certification in advanced medical laser therapy. A veteran in the medical and military community, Dr. Gonzalez will do everything in his power to protect your body from other, more-painful hair-removal methods. He'll selectively target the dark matter, the melanin, surrounding the individual follicles without heating the surrounding skin. Your three treatments will send you well on your way to hairless harmony, but results can vary depending on skin and hair type. The friendly staff at Atlantis will be happy to consult with you on how many treatments it will take to achieve the results you are looking for.
Laser hair removal will put your tweezers on the sidelines, where they will mumble in a high, squeaky voice about how they could have made the big play. Beachgoers tired of double-dog daring their body into a swimsuit can finally prep for the upcoming season. Wardrobes with a dearth of sleeves can get a full rotation by their owner after an underarm clearing. Or avid cyclists can decrease resistance to wind and beauty with an aerodynamic full-face wicking.