The physical rejuvenation fairy has come to St. Louis and will be staying until the airline locates its luggage. Today’s Groupon invites you to pick any of nine deluxe treatment packages from BriteSmile for $185 (an up to $1,197 value). On top of personal beautifying of your already-beautiful features, 10% of all BriteSmile proceeds will go to charity.

Whether it’s your teeth, your skin, or your hair that’s been petitioning their member of Congress for some diplomatic attention, you can bring relief to the tax-paying citizens of your body. The licensed staff at BriteSmile’s Chesterfield location offer nine service bundles:

• 60-minute teeth whitening: Get your teeth up to 14 shades lighter ($600 value). BriteSmile CEO Jeff Nourse says the company has done more than 2.5 million teeth whitenings since 1999.
• Three women’s laser hair removals: Gentle but intimidating lasers will eliminate hair where there once was hair on your face, underarms, basic bikini line, lower legs, or feet and toes (up to $1,197 value). According to Nourse, BriteSmile has performed more than one million laser hair removals.
• Three men’s laser hair removals: The same as for women, now for the gents. Good for faces (excluding full beards, which repel lasers), shoulders (tops or blades), chest, upper back, or lower back (up to $1,197 value).
• Any two skin-tightening treatments: A laser that builds collagen in your skin to keep it closely knit to your body ($1,000 value).
• Two Vela shape treatments: Reduce fat and cellulite with skin contouring and tightening lasers that have won the hearts and approval of the FDA ($798 value).
• Three microdermabrasion treatments: A trio of skin exfoliations for the face, neck, or hands, using the power of very tiny dermabrasions ($450 value).
• An IPL skin rejuvenation treatment: The Intense Pulse Light photofacial will rejuvenate your skin like a benevolent photographer and includes a microdermabrasion for your face, neck, or hands (up to $645 value).
• Any two fractional treatments: Fancy talk for wrinkle reduction, which combines fractional heat with radio frequency to scare wrinkles back to their wrinkle dens ($1,000 value).
• Five Pure Glow chemical peels: A chemical peel to release your inner butterfly—figuratively. Your hideous humanoid butterfly form will remain concealed under beautifully smooth human skin ($999 value).

With Today’s Groupon, 10% of BriteSmile proceeds will benefit Dress for Success, a non-profit organization that supports disadvantaged women through career counseling and business attire. For maximum karma, treat yourself to as many Groupons as you like or share the beauty with everyone on your holiday shopping list.

Reviews

While the Chesterfield location is waiting for more reviews to come in, two Chicago Yahoo! Local users rate the teeth-whitening experts a perfect five stars; Yelpers give BriteSmile in Chicago four: > * The next day or two, MY TEETH WERE EVEN WHITER than the day I had it done. It’s been 2 weeks since I got it done and my teeth are just as white as the 2nd/3rd day. I always had self esteem issues with the color of my teeth but now I’m not – Rick N., Yelp > * I love my teeth whitening results. I had this done over a year ago, and people still compliment my teeth. Even my dentist commented on my results. – Allison K., Yelp > * I have to say that BriteSmile is way, way, way more effective than Crest strips or trays. I would definitely repeat this experience and believe that it’s the least inconvenient method for whitening your teeth. – julian.josh@…, Yahoo! Local