To harvest a coconut’s milk, one must saw through its husk or trick it open by asking to see its clam impersonation. Exploit a stupid coconut with today's Groupon: for $20, you get dinner for two at Gateway of India in Teaneck (up to a $55 total value). The dinner includes:

• One appetizer (up to a $10 value)
• One order of naan (up to a $7 value)
Two entrees (up to a $38 total value)

Gateway of India's authentic ambiance houses fragrant aromas from a wide selection of classic Indian cuisine. Tantalizing appetizers such as the vegetable pakora summon appetites with veggies battered in lightly seasoned lentil flour, and the kebab sampler dispenses spears of chicken, lamb, and fish—provided they're not touring as an alternative-country trio. Delicious flats of naan bread sop up sauces and act as makeshift bibs bursting with flavors of garlic, coconut and cherries, or unleavened whole-wheat grains. Gnaw on entrees such as the lamb korma—decadent pieces of spiced lamb swimming in onion, cashew, and almond cream sauce—or nibble the palak paneer, a dish of homemade Indian cheese and spinach. A selection of classic dishes such as chicken tikka masala and goat biryani with rice challenge exotic combinations such as lobster curry to freestyle Bollywood dance-offs.