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Say "coagulated milk protein" with today's Groupon to Joe David Cantu Photography. For $49, you get a one-hour photo shoot at J. D. Cantu's studio in Chester and six sheets of prints, a $250 value. Though your Groupon is not valid for wedding photos, it's the perfect way to document your engagement in your hometown newspaper for former head cheerleaders and football players to see and envy.
This package is your opportunity to upgrade the framed family photos that have been hanging in your parents’ home for the past 600 years. Now that you aren’t riddled with acne or plagued with a six-year-old’s gummy smile, split the cost with your sibs and surprise your folks with a more up-to-date snapshot just in time for the holidays. Whether you're camera shy or you become a fierce tiger in the flash-bulb, experienced photographer J. D. Cantu combines his trademark sleight of hand with hypnosis to make you forget all about the camera. During your session, J. D. will get to know you and what you want from your pictures in order to snap and capture you at your most natural and stunning. His eye for composition, lighting, and artistic expression will find the perfect shots to replace the fridge-dwelling Polaroid of you with cake on your face. After your shoot, you'll get a chance to see your proofs online and make three final image selections. You'll get two sheets of each image. Each sheet holds your choice of one 8x10, two 5x7s, or four 4x6s. Mix and match sizes to create the package to suit your needs.
There’s always an excuse to say cheese: you’re engaged, you’re pregnant, you graduated high school, or you placed in the regional knitting finals. Even if you’re not commemorating a major milestone, you might need a professional headshot to further your career. Actresses, authors, musicians, non-ironic clowns, dancers, comedic magicians, and other performers can all benefit from quality prints.
Throughout the whole of nature, there are many elusive beings that cannot be properly photographed (draculas, ninjas, your girlfriend who goes to a different high school). Groupon paraphotographers were, however, able to uncover one irrefutable incident of ghost photography: the infamous Hansen Collection.
In 1978, amateur bat photographer Gregory Hansen was in his front yard one night when a mysterious white orb appeared in the sky over his home. Diverting his attention from a particularly active nest of eptesicus fuscus, he began photographing the orb, which made no attempt to flee or conceal itself. Hansen continued to document the orb as it reappeared over his house, each night shrinking slightly “as though passing slowly into the spirit world,” Hansen observed. On particularly cloudy nights, the orb would not be present, prompting Hansen to speculate that ghosts may be allergic to thunder.
Although skeptics have said “I don’t have time for this” and “Seriously, are you five? I’m actually asking you if you are literally five years old” regarding Hansen’s photos, die-hard Hansenites keep the truth alive through web-based communities and Obey The Orb street graffiti. Hansen tragically passed away in 2005, when he was struck by a roaring mechanical demon while crossing the street.
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