Once freed from the tyranny of tobacco, ex-smokers usually discover a slew of new uses for their lighters, such as kindling bonfires, summoning encore performances, and chivalrously flambéing strangers’ crème brûlées at the bus stop. Kick filthy habits for the betterment of all with today’s Groupon: for $75, you get an auriculotherapy smoking cessation treatment and two follow-up boosters at ReNew Auriculotherapy Centers in Swansea (a $150 value).
Inspired by personal brushes with tobacco’s destructive power, experienced cigarette exorcist Dr. Jeffrey Williams helms ReNew Auriculotherapy Center to help free tobacco users from the clutches of nicotine addiction via auriculotherapy. During treatment, he’ll carefully anchor slender micro-current probes at specific acupressure points in the outer ears, propelling micro-currents of nearly painless energy to the nerve centers associated with nicotine addiction. Each initial visit encompasses up to 30 minutes of consultation, treatment, and butt-quashing pointers, while dual follow-up boosters over the next 60 days bolster flagging willpower with 15-minute jolts of auricular impetus. In addition to its patent merits as a tongue twister, auriculotherapy may extinguish seditious pockets of nicotine in delicate organ systems and wash away physiological cigarette yens with a tidal wave of feel-good endorphins.