Before sports bars, the only place to view eight games simultaneously was inside the brain of a spider. Achieve octovision with today's Groupon: for $12, you get $25 worth of drinks, seafood, and American and international cuisine at Salty River Sports Bar & Grill.

Salty River's family-friendly colorful setting plays host to a panoply of international dishes, frothy beers, and live musical acts. Pull up to a table and peruse or memorize the menu, bustling with seafood dishes such as the smoked-fish dip ($3.99) and the Salty Fingers—white fish coated in a Cajun crust and accompanied by Cajun fries and wasabi ($7.99). Or sling a German-beer bratwurst right off the sizzling grill ($5.25) and pair it with some fried pickles ($3.99). Four specialty pizzas, such as the margarita ($7.50) and Texas Ranger—slathered in a signature steak sauce and topped with lean steak and bacon ($7.50)—prove the existence of a true pizza Picasso and four River Rizer skewers, including the Rum Runners–style caribbean jerk chicken on a bed of bread and black beans ($8.99), prove foods can still walk on stilts after years away from the circus.

Patrons can pop in at anytime to savor one of 14 frothy brews on tap, dive into the oyster bar, or imbibe a fine wine from one of Salty River’s two bars, which surround 12 plasma and mini TVs playing all manner of sports. A selection of cigars and hookah flavors proffer a relaxing cheef-puff, while Latino Nights on Tuesdays and Reggae Music Nights with Les B Fine each Friday evening entertain ears more ably than a comedy-spouting q-tip.