Tongues do their best to comfort aching teeth by gently massaging them or reading to them from Foucault's Treatises on Oral Hygiene until they fall asleep. Tend to tooth troubles with today’s Groupon: for $40, you get a dental package at Signature Smiles (a $230 total value). The package includes:

• A comprehensive oral evaluation (an $85 value)
• Four bitewing x-rays (a $60 value)
• A basic cleaning (an $85 value)

Helmed by a practiced pair of dentists, Signature Smiles tends to leaning tooth towers in a state-of-the-art dental office ensconced in opulent columns and light fixtures. Surrendering smile bones to ultramodern teeth-taming equipment, patients receive a comprehensive exam and basic cleaning that scours teeth, gums, and tissue for periodontal problems and gently buffs away excess tartar, plaque, and stains incurred from noshing on ink-filled bonbons. The omniscient eye of a digital x-ray swiftly unearths subterranean oral abnormalities from their enamel fortresses using 80%–90% less radiation than traditional x-rays and cavity-zapping ray guns. Signature Smiles lures patrons to regular checkups with its elegant environs augmented by soothing massage chairs and televisions.