What You'll Get
Getting in shape, much like speed-reading Russian literature, requires concentration and the strength to forge ahead through painful, protracted inner monologues. Forge ahead toward weight loss with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get the first week of a medical weight-loss program at Tampa Rejuvenation (a $314 value). Choose between these locations in Tampa:
- North Tampa
- South Tampa
The expert staff at Tampa Rejuvenation works to banish unwanted weight from clients’ bodies via a customized weight-loss program comprised of tips for healthy living, appetite suppressants, and energy boosters. Although individual results vary, Tampa Rejuvenation boasts a 93% success rate in evicting 4–8 pounds a week from protoplasmic edifices. To kick things off, new recruits meet with the facility director to review the program before completing a health history, which will be reviewed by a physician and tartan-clad historian. After specialists run electrocardiograms, record vital signs, and do necessary blood work, patients receive vitamin injections, including B-12, B-6, and an MIC-amino-acid combination. The seasoned staffers also analyze body compositions to discover how to turn loitering fat cells into lean muscle mass. Then they’ll bestow clients with one week's worth of FDA-approved appetite suppressants to aid them on their weight-slaying journey, ensuring that the cravings of ravenous stomach gnomes are sufficiently quelled. Meanwhile, a nutritionist teaches patients how to choose, cook, and properly portion healthy foods, and a personal trainer doles out fitness assessments and motivating maxims devoid of insults or blackmail.
In addition to their medical makeover, patients receive an educational booklet, a gift bag of ketone strips, and a discount card for a friend or family member. Though follow-up weeks are not included, Groupon customers may extend their time at Tampa Rejuvenation at a discounted rate of $45 per week (normally $65), which includes includes medication, injections, and continued body-fat monitoring.
THE PATIENT AND ANY OTHER PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYMENT HAS A RIGHT TO REFUSE TO PAY, CANCEL PAYMENT, OR BE REIMBURSED FOR PAYMENT FOR ANY OTHER SERVICE, EXAMINATION, OR TREATMENT THAT IS PERFORMED AS A RESULT OF AND WITHIN 72 HOURS OF RESPONDING TO THE ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE FREE, DISCOUNTED FEE, OR REDUCED FEE SERVICE, EXAMINATION, OR TREATMENT.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Mar 20, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Valid only for location purchased. By appointment only. Important patient disclosure. May redeem across visits. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Tampa Rejuvenation
The skilled staff—a veritable dream team of medical know-how—shepherds clients toward improved health by designing and leading custom weight-loss, nutrition, and fitness programs. Spread across four locations, the practice tailors comprehensive programs. Doctors, personal trainers, nutritionists, and artists who draw kettlebells onto clients' portraits to make them appear fit pool their disciplines to blast away excess pounds with methods birthed from the mind of science itself. Vitamin and amino-acid injections, ketone strips, appetite suppressants, and supplements are part of the weight loss program. Bio-identical hormones characterize the hormone-therapy program, which seeks to restore bodily balance more effectively than replacing legs with gyroscopes.