Without proper treatment, spider veins will converge to reveal the ending of Charlotte's Web. Conceal heavily guarded spoiler alerts with today's Groupon: for $175, you get three laser spider-vein treatments at University Mission Medical Clinic in Palo Alto (a $600 value).
The experienced doctors and staff at University Mission Medical Clinic help erase the illegible scribbles scrawled by spider and varicose veins through noninvasive laser treatments. Visits start with a free consultation to determine whether medical lasers can effectively target unwanted veins or encroaching asteroids. During each half-hour treatment, bursts of high-power light frolic about on skinscapes, helping fade the appearance of unsightly blood vessels. Because the laser can cause a mild stinging sensation, numbing cream is available for purchase at the center ($30/tube)––perfect for those with sensitive skin from excessive snuggling with scraggy pet armadillos.
Guests who would like to treat their veins through an alternative method can pay an additional $150 to change their three laser treatments to sclerotherapy, which treats larger veins by injecting a special solution that causes them to close off before being reabsorbed by the body.