Topping the food chain is a tremendous achievement, which is why humans triumphantly plant flag-like toothpicks in burgers and belt the national anthem at their steaks before devouring them. Enjoy life at the top with today's Groupon: for $40, you get $80 worth of steakhouse fare at Vernon's Hidden Valley Steakhouse in Los Ranchos.

Vernon's classically trained chef populates the menu with classic steakhouse dishes in an intimate, speakeasy-style setting. Diners savor the succulent filet mignon ($60 for 12 oz.) of Newport center-cut USDA aged beef or opt for 14 ounces of New Mexico–raised prime rib ($38). Each cut is wet-aged for 21 days, allowing guests to sample juicy steaks. Blue-crab cakes ($18) pinch hunger with spicy sriracha aioli drizzled over seared blue lump crabmeat, and the spicy lemon beurre blanc of pan-seared day-boat scallops ($20) loosens rusty jaw hinges. Delve into the day's tastiest portmanteau with offerings from from the brunch menu, such as eggs Vernadict ($17), which stacks brioche with poached eggs and crispy pancetta, blanketed with sauce choron.

Vernon's intimate dining area hearkens back to the days of speakeasy saloons, with black-diamond plaster walls and red-planked ceilings to add ornamentations of modern-day elegance. Catch live music in the Black Diamond Lounge nightly.