All of the normal ways of showing affection for your gal—such as tattooing your name into her or showering her in loose, soggy kisses—have become outdated. Here are some current ways to show her you care:

• Name the largest TV in your house after her.

• Find out if she has a favorite sports team. Buy the film rights for every player on the team, then write, direct, and act in a major motion picture about them.

• Let her order her meal first, even though it's your favorite fish restaurant.

• Embarrass her (in a good way) by delivering a gaggle of her favorite breed of baby ducks to her office.

• Dip your lips in hot, melted caramel to make kisses even sweeter.

• Watch her favorite TV show with her and talk through the commercials so that she doesn't have to hear that junk.

• Be vulnerable with her. Let her see you cry when you're sad and let her make you cry when she has that feeling where you just need to hurt something so that you can feel more alive.

• When you two are walking around together, put your hat or coat on her. She'll get a kick out of looking like you for a day.