“Karate” means “empty hand,” because its practitioners fight without weapons, portable-gaming devices, or adversary-blinding clumps of spaghetti. Engage in unarmed combat with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get 10 karate classes, a uniform, and a waived enrollment fee at Fabiano’s Karate in Holland (up to a $189 value).

Led by Tom Fabiano, the dojo doyens at Fabiano’s promote fitness, discipline, and self-defense through mastery of karate. Senseis specialize in Matsumura Seito Shorin Ryu, a style that emphasizes disabling opponents by striking at key pressure points, including nerves, joints, and the repressed memories of humiliating science-fair failures. Classes are offered for three age groups (4–6, 7–14, and 15 and older), with drills and instruction designed to hone focus, confidence, and conditioning while imparting the art of kinetic kicks and pulverizing punches. In addition to bestowing invaluable physical and mental skills, Fabiano’s outfits pupils with a proper uniform to facilitate comfortable training and disguise inviting bull's-eye tattoos.