Buildings gradually deteriorate from constant exposure to the elements, such as the scorching sun, gusty winds, and Ununquadium storms. Protect four or more walls with today's Groupon: for $49, you get two hours of home repair and maintenance work from Fortitude Property Services LLC (a $100 value).

Fortitude Property Services' affable handypeople apply superior skills and dark sorcery to busted-up homes and offices, turning them into pristine palatial paradises. Cure walls’ outbreaks of chipping and fading with a fresh coat of paint, or tighten up loose bolts, screws, or area rugs during a general maintenance overhaul. Braving the great outdoors, Fortitude’s workers perform landscaping jobs, lawn manicures, and asphalt sealing, and they pressure-clean away dirt, grime, and caked-on flying-saucer fragments from siding or patios. Fortitude's home hygiene henchmen will travel up to 70 miles from the center of the Pittsburgh metro area and operate on a price estimation system, besting any competitor's bid.