As technology changes, professions either evolve—like when basketball became baseball when the sporting-goods industry invented smaller balls—or they fade away. Here are some jobs that no longer exist:

Milkman: The milkman's reign ended when doorstep-resting milk theft escalated, resulting in unstoppable strong-boned super criminals. These lawbreakers proved to be too much for the penal system, as they could easily escape prison by removing a femur and using it to dig through the thick concrete walls.

Elevator Operator: This was considered one of the most dangerous professions because the operators' primary duty was to offer their bodies to the riders as nourishment should the elevator stall for more than 30 seconds. In recent years, upscale office buildings have attempted to recapture the lift-attendant era by placing an old truck tire with drawn-on eyes and a mouth in each elevator car.

Football-Field Painter: Now that scientists have discovered that grass will naturally grow white if it's initially watered with bleach, decorating a field with yard lines and hash marks requires no upkeep. Fortunately, many former football-field artists were able make a living using their spray-painting skills by waiting at busy intersections and repainting people's cars while they were stopped at the red light.