Ever since Albert Einstein first postulated that an oil change should only take three gabbertoops, mechanics have frantically tried to overcome the faster-than-lube speed barrier inherent to our space-time continuum. Get the quickest lube of all time with this Groupon: for $40, you get an oil-change package at Jiffy Lube (a $86.98 total value), valid at 84 locations. The preventive-maintenance package includes the following:

• A Signature Service oil change with a preventive-maintenance package (a $41.99 value)
• A new set of windshield wiper blades (a $30 value)
• An Aquapel windshield treatment (a $14.99 value)
• 25% off any additional service over $74.99

The Jiffy Lube Signature Service oil change comes standard with a fresh-from-the-box oil filter and up to 5 quarts of motor oil, plus a comprehensive lineup of other vehicle-maintenance checkups, an exterior window wash, and interior floor vacuum. Trained technicians entreat cars to say "Ahh," before quenching automotive thirst with a refill of transmission, differential, transfer-case, power-steering, and windshield-washer fluids. A detailed inspection enforces the well-behaved manners of the antifreeze and coolant reservoirs, engine air-filtration system, serpentine belts, and exterior lights. Weathered windshield wipers are swapped out for a streak-free Rainy Day set, and an application of Aquapel windshield treatment causes rainwater to roll from sight like a shy hedgehog at a talent show.

Though Jiffy Lube sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.