There’s always one person at every party who’s having the most fun. Here’s how you can be the life of the party and make it an event that people will be talking about until they move on from the partying phase of their lives and buy a nice condo in an up-and-coming part of town:

• Knock over a bowl of Doritos.
  
• Introduce yourself to all of the ladies at the party as Dirty Vito.
  
• Tell the DJ you’ll be doing a guest set, then put two pizzas on the turntable.
  
• Dance on top of a table to get the crowd going, then forget where you are and start crying until everyone walks away.
  
• Kiss the host on the mouth and say “That’s for throwing such a beautiful party.”
  
• Take off all of your clothes and jump in the pool. Stay there until you feel like you’re starting to get an infection.
  
• Pass out on the couch until you’re woken up by the sound of your parents crying about their house.