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Dr. Lindeman, winner of the Clinic Service Award for outstanding patient care while enrolled at the Cleveland Chiropractic College, will go over your specific aches and pains before giving your back a standard treatment that realigns every aggrieved vertebrate and unties tense knots. After the treatment, you'll lay back into the hydromassager. Essentially a waterbed filled with heated jacuzzi jets, the hydromassager pushes away stress and stiffness with the efficiency of a cow-catcher on a steam-powered locomotive. After 15 minutes, patients emerge as soothed and limber as an octopus in a seaweed hammock—and just as hungry for crabs.

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