What You'll Get
Ever since humans evolved necks, they have craned them to look at the stars, making astronomy the oldest profession and chiropractic the second oldest. Align yourself for continued constellation-scoping with today’s Groupon: for $39, you get a chiropractic package at Dr. Bauer’s Advanced Wellness (up to a $306 total value). The package includes the following:
- One-hour massage (a $49 value)
- Wellness exam (a $99 value)
- Adjustment, if necessary (a $59 value)
- Two x-rays, if necessary (a $99 value)<p>
At Dr. Bauer’s Advanced Wellness, Drs. Jason Bauer and Travis Johnson focus on healing spines and promoting overall health without the use of surgery or drugs. During one-hour therapeutic massages, muscles surrender aches to firm hands, which send waves of relaxation over bodies and dissolve stores of tension as quickly as a dragon eats through its antacid supply. Patients then meet with one of the doctors, who consults with them to suss out deficiencies in areas of nutrition, exercise, and function. A thorough examination of the spine and nervous system includes orthopedic tests to evaluate posture and range of motion and digital nerve and thermal scans to illuminate caricatures of the brain circulated by mischievous vertebrae.
If deemed necessary, the doctor will gently adjust spinal vertebrae that have shifted from their natural position, restoring alignment to reduce stress on surrounding ligaments, discs, and joints. For those who are at risk for osteoarthritis, who have a history of musculoskeletal trauma, or who want to ensure their funny bone hasn’t alienated any ribs, a pair of x-rays may be ordered to illuminate the troubled area and inform treatment.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 6, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiples as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Not valid for insurance. Massages are non-transferable. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.