Losing weight requires patience and consistency, not unlike retraining a goldfish to fetch every three seconds. Put your talents toward a more worthwhile goal with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get an individualized weight-loss program, supplements, a B12 shot, and first weekly checkup (up to a $360 total value) at Greater Orlando Medical Weight Loss in Orlando or Maitland.

Greater Orlando Medical Weight Loss's medical team leads patients to pound-shedding victories with individualized nutrition counseling, medication therapy, and behavior modification. The center's friendly, attentive staffers all graduated from the program with flying colors, including physician Rene Cruz, who paves the road to slimville starting with an initial consultation (a $295 value) and detailed medical exam. The staff performs a few tests to assess weight, body fat, and blood pressure, which helps the doctor accurately calculate each patient's metabolic activity and favorite childhood pastime. Patients return a few days later for test results and a strategizing session with the doctor to build a personal weight-loss plan and receive a fat-burning, energy-boosting injection of B12 and amino acids. Before they leave, future weigh-loss heroes collect a month’s supply of supplements that help spur weight loss by boosting metabolism and providing essential vitamins and minerals, along with appetite suppressants to keep cravings at bay.

After their first week, patients come back for a weekly weigh-in (a $65 value), which allows staff to monitor blood pressure and body fat, prescribe appropriate medication, administer another injection, and gently encourage extra pounds to leave their stations on thighs and tummies for careers in paperweighting.