Without professional auto cleaners, cars would have to clean themselves by jumping into kiddie pools or invading supermarkets to nuzzle the paper-towel displays. Commit a grimy vehicle to professional care with today's Groupon: for $79, you get a complete car detail package at Pro-Tec (a $169.99 value). This Groupon is valid for standard sedans, SUVs, trucks, and minivans; large SUVs, full-size vans, and vehicles with pet hair will incur a $30 surcharge.

The car cosseters at Pro-Tec have been protecting automobiles from the elements with an arsenal of biodegradable cleaning products for more than 30 years. The 90-minute auto-detailing package commences with a hand washing and drying of soiled road steeds to remove dirt, bugs, and tar and restore their exterior coats to a glossy shine. No doorjamb or wheel well is left untouched as cleaners elbow-grease their way into tricky spots and dress all moldings and trim for a velvet finish. Then, they'll brush a coat of Window Pro glass protectant onto freshly washed windshields and portholes to help disperse rain and snow and encourage flirtatious eye contact with other drivers.

Ticklish autos may giggle as a power wash purges their undercarriage and tires of built up gunk and mud. To prevent environmental damage to highway-hugging roadsters, a hand-applied paint sealant deflects UV rays, acid rain, and calling cards left by vengeful pigeons. Automobiles glide back to the road feeling refreshed on both the outside and inside, as the exterior-plus package includes a full interior vacuuming and soothing shampoo of tarnished floor mats.

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