Unlike a sand witch, a sandwich doesn't have the power to turn men into sand and sand into poisoned glass. Let a sandwich cast a devastating spell on hunger pains with today's Groupon: for $7, you get $15 worth of gyros, sandwiches, drinks, and more at Salem's Gryros & Subs in Bradenton.

Salem's serves up a menu of made-to-order sandwiches, wings, and more crafted with quality ingredients and toppings that are newer than the future. Recollect the days when bison ruled the skies while snacking on large Buffalo wings in sauces mild, spicy, or hot ($7.99 for 10), then busy your mouth with an oyster platter ($9.99) as your teeth give chase to the calamari rings ($3.99). As the menu's star, the original gyro will autograph your stomach for $5.99; once it's been graced with a gourmet John Hancock, you can direct your digester's attention toward a footlong Philly steak ($7.99), a Black Angus cheeseburger ($3.39), or a 12-inch Po Boy shrimp sub ($7.99). Fresh salads ($4.99 for a small), fried sides, and soft drinks ($2.29 for a large) round out the bill of eats.