In recent studies, cabin fever has been definitively linked to chillblains, the gout, and other fictional disorders. Today's deal will help your kids shake that winter cabin fever by getting them outdoors and back inside other doors. For $10, you'll get admission to three attractions, an all-you-can-eat buffet, soft drinks, and a $10 game card at the Xscape indoor amusement park, worth up to $33.49. Access to the Pirates of the Caribbean bounce house and the Pirate Adventure jungle gym is also included for little kids already showing a talent for raiding naval frigates. Alcoholic beverages are not included in the Groupon (though they are available in the sports lounge).
Everyone in your fam can start their indoor fun off right with their choice of three of Xscape's nine rides and attractions. Tear up the oval track in a single- or double-style NASCAR go-kart. Practice your team-building and other-team-destroying in the laser-tag arena. For something a little more laid-back, take in a spooky nine on Xscape's Ghoulie Golf course. And if you want to feel like Andre the Giant on his day off, try Route 66 mini-bowling or the mini-teacups. Itty-bitties too itty-bitty for these attractions can still have a blast on the Baja Buggies, the 20-foot-drop Frog Hopper, or one of the 4-D XD Theater motion simulator rides. When you've finally bumped your last car, take your game card over to Xscape's arcade and enjoy $10 worth of the latest games.
All this shooting and spinning and motion simulating can induce hunger and profound existential crises, so Xscape offers a full buffet of gourmet pizzas, pastas, soups, salads, daily specials, and desserts. You'll also have 15 choices of the softest drinks available since velour tea went out of style. Overstimulated parents, meanwhile, can take refuge in the slightly quieter and more alcohol-y sports lounge. After all, you don't want to go home pouty, or your kids might ground you and force you to watch them draw historic military leaders from memory.
Everyone is allowed one (and only one) Groupon, so you can treat your entire family to a day of frenetic fun. You can also treat your neighbors' kids as recompense for blowing your snow into their driveway all summer—and for renting that awesome snow machine.
TripAdvisors give Xscape four stars:
Making Kids Tired
Not only are amusement parks a moonscoop of fun for children, they’re also great for parents looking for legally acceptable ways of tuckering out their rambunctious kids. If you’ve spent the day at the fun park and still haven’t run their energy reserves down, use one of these tried and true methods:
- Ask your kids to read you a bedtime story written by verbose novelist Thomas Pynchon.
- Volunteer them to be human pacesetters at the dog track.
- Learn how to throw your voice and impersonate Warren G. Harding. Then you can repeatedly lure them back-and-forth between rooms with the promise of expensive chocolates.
- Challenge them to a game of Monopoly. When they accept, throw the game pieces onto the back of a passing truck and give them the option to find the pieces or whittle new pieces out of drop-forged steel.
Follow @Groupon_Says on Twitter.