Unlike marble statues and already-poured waffles, humans have the ability to change their own shape. Alter your outward appearance with today's Groupon: for $199, you get three VelaShape treatments at BodySculptMD (a $675 value). All three treatments must be used on one of the following areas:

• Back of thighs
• Front of thighs
• Inner thighs
• Outer thighs
• Abdomen
• Butt
• Bra line
• Love handles

Practicing medicine for more than 28 years, BodySculptMD founder Dr. Janice Vaughn uses technological advances to target and smooth cellulite. Dr. Vaughn's team helps trim stubborn inches over the course of three VelaShape sessions, employing the FDA-cleared medical treatment to temporarily reduce troublesome paunch. During each 30-minute session, Velashape’s threefold system of bi-polar radio frequencies, infrared light energy, and mechanical massage combines like the thoughts of a three-headed dog to heat and smooth adipose tissue, increasing lymphatic drainage and reducing the size of fat cells.

Applicable to all skin types, the noninvasive treatment’s heat, vacuum, and mechanical rollers may feel akin to that of a warm, deep-tissue massage. While results vary, VelaShape can produce an average of 0.5–3 inches in circumferential reduction over a series of treatments, with visible results in as few as four treatments. Groupon customers can apply a 50% discount toward additional VelaShape sessions to be used on the same treatment area in an effort to further whittle figures and elicit catcalls from anthropomorphic cats.