Every child dreams of becoming a millionaire astronaut or fearless cartographer, but most children neglect to start planning for those careers until they're too old. Here's how today's kids can start working toward their dream jobs:

Firefighter: Build up your immunity to fire by exposing yourself to it in small doses. Start by eating only a single match each day until you can subsist entirely on plastic lighters.

Marine Biologist: Get certified for SCUBA—self-contained underwater breathing ability. To test if you have this innate skill, attempt to breathe through your mouth while drinking water through your nose.

Self-Reliant Hunter/Farmer/Hermit/Pastor: Kids can prepare for the only job that will be available in the future by hoarding seeds and gold now and maintaining a healthy distrust of all belief systems that worship anything other than strength.