Strong enough to power all life on Earth and confident enough to disappear every night, the sun is a fearsome force whose destructive might is matched only by its desire to harm humans. Protect yourself against its harsh rays using these optional, mandatory tips:

Invest in Sunscreen: Slathering the viscous topical product on your skin will not only convert the sun's UV rays into energy (saving you the need to consume food), it could also make you a millionaire. Sunscreen is composed mostly of aluminum (periodic symbol A) and uranium (periodic symbol U)—the two main components of gold (periodic symbol Au). Removing the excess chemicals from sunscreen is still how Wal-Mart makes most of its money.

Stay Indoors: Though it recently gained the ability to shine through clear windows (in 1978), sunlight cannot yet pass through even the thinnest of walls. Stay safely ensconced in windowless rooms as often as possible to ensure that the sun's warming rays don't catch your arm hairs on fire. If you need heat, simply put your microwave inside your oven and turn them both on with the doors open.

Know Your Enemy: The sun, like Santa Claus, knows when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, and is actively being hunted down by NASA scientists bent on capturing and studying it. Nothing you do escapes the sun's omniscience, so learn more about the brightly burning eye in the sky by staring directly at it to identify its weak points. (Hint: it doesn't have any.)