Any fool can set a wake-up alarm on their cell phone like the vast majority of Americans. It takes a boldly sleepy innovator to try one of these life-hacking alarm clocks:

The Rolled Timer: This shrieking alarm clock rolls off your nightstand on rubber wheels and keeps bleating until you find it quivering in the corner of the shower.

The Up, Up, and Awake: This alarm clock takes the form of a tiny autopiloting helicopter that emits piercing cries while hovering over you, just out of arm’s reach, until you become awake enough to retrieve it with a ladder or between two brooms.

The Bright and Early: This ultimate alarm clock will begin shooting jets of flame in random directions at impossible-to-predict intervals during the night. Do you dare sleep at all?