Things to Do in River Edge

The Garden State Rollergirls, New Jersey's premiere all-female roller derby league, boasts a roster of over 40 skaters during their seventh season. Equipped with four-wheeled skates, the athletes crush competition during bouts of two 30-minute halves. While designated jammers—typically the fastest skaters—attempt to lap opposing rollers, blockers use a lethal combination of shoulder and hip checks.

Danbury Ice Arena's professional skating instructors introduce students to the fine art of figure-eighting with weekly classes based on the curriculum of the Ice Skating Institute. Children as young as three years old can begin instruction in the Tot 1 course, which is designed to instill a sense of comfort and confidence on the ice through techniques such as marching in place, falling properly, and getting up. As skaters expand their abilities, they may continue with progressive course levels that build upon each other. Both adult and child introductory courses focus on beginning techniques such as marching and stopping, which provide a foundation for techniques learned in advanced levels such as performing one-foot glides, making snowplow stops, and evading goalies who have grown tired of being senselessly bombarded with pucks.

Home to the state's largest freestanding bouldering island, New Jersey Rock Gym houses 12,000 square feet of vertical terrain to climb as well as 41 top roping stations. Armed with either day passes or membership, guests scamper up the gym's synthetic summits, hoping to ask questions of the learned ceiling light sequestered at the top of the mountain. While gear is included with some membership options, guests can opt to bring their own materials or rent the individual shoes ($5), harnesses ($4), or chalk bags ($2) they need from the pro shop. New Jersey Rock Gym offers a collection of educational course work in the vertical arts, teaching belay technique to beginners or advanced skills to adults. Children can also take advantage of youth climbing programs, mini camps, and birthday parties before retiring to private refreshment chambers to absorb bottles of electrolyte-infused refreshment. The nearby pro shop outfits climbers with name-brand gear for purchase, while a WiFi lounge transmits terabytes of data into nearby electronic devices or unsecured cyborg brains.

Green Flag Driving Experience deals in adrenaline. At its racetrack, novice drivers and advanced rubber burners alike get to feel the heady rush of epinephrine as they reach speeds in excess of 90 mph while manning the cockpit of a racecar. Drivers choose their rides from a fleet of Winged TQ Midgets or a selection of Legends cars, 5/8-scale replicas of autos from the Golden Age of American engineering when men were men and cars were powered by miniature locomotives. Before sliding behind their chosen wheel, each driver goes through an introduction and orientation that cover safety skills and handling basics. Then the Green Flag Driving Experience instructors keep watch as their pupils don provided helmets and suits, buckle up, and hit the pavement. Afterward, the instructors provide a thorough critique that helps the budding Andrettis maneuver with even more finesse on their next time around the track.

The phosphorescent, indoor landscape at Monster Mini Golf immerses putters in an eerie universe that inverts the sun-soaked cheer of conventional courses. Rimmed in glowing green barriers, 18 holes lure swingers of all sizes to challenge their coordination and resolve in the face of winged monsters, scowling animated trees, a creepy clown, and their opponents' shockingly dazzling smiles. Sheltered from searing rain and howling wind, the indoor course enables play around hazards such as a spell well and luminous, ghostly windmill at any time of the year. An in-house radio station and DJ mask the sound of pounding hearts with lively beats and course commentary, and golfers looking for additional glory can win prizes by participating in regular contests or at the onsite arcade (arcade games not covered by this Groupon).

Helmed by a team of passionate climbing coaches, both of The Gravity Vault's locations surround climbers with more than 13,000 square feet of climbing space. Walls tower past 35 feet, mimicking such natural rock formations as overhangs, keyhole arches, and slabs, and bouldering areas challenge climbers with a latticework of problems that—unlike most of life's—can't simply be solved with dynamite and a pair of roller skates. Visitors can choose from up to 60 top-rope stations, trusting either the trained staff or a certified fellow climber to man the ropes while they scramble to the summit. When not dangling from a hold or saving lost kittens from a rappel ledge, members can bulk up in the cardiovascular-training area.