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Reviewed October 5, 2014
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What You'll Get
As December 23, 2012, approaches, many Americans eagerly await the moment when Hades will emerge from the Underworld to recklessly devour raw eggs. Until then, experience man-made terror with today's Groupon: for $5, you get admission to Millers Thrillers Haunted Woods (a $10 value).
Dare friends to witness spine-tingling goblins, or humiliate weak-bladdered enemies by tiptoeing through a full-scale, unguided haunted trail during crisp October weekends. Withstand chilling darkness, strobe lights, and fog for 30 to 45 minutes as you avoid the terrifying fashions found at local raves. A slew of creepy ghouls go bump in the night while the staff maintains a safe and secure environment.
Fear is the secret to happy marriages, lasting friendships, and the final ingredient in numerous madman-created serums. Lead a scared sweetie and ghoulish gang through a creepy forest with today’s spooky Groupon to Millers Thrillers Haunted Woods.
Children under the age of 13 must be accompanied by an adult.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Oct 31, 2010. Amount paid never expires. Limit 3 per person. Under 13 must be accompanied by an adult. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Millers Thrillers Zombie Paintball Hayride or Haunted Woods
In the gulches of an abandoned phosphate mine, a labyrinthine path echoes with the roar of unseen chainsaws and the rustles of hidden ghouls. Monsters and zombies lurk in the darkness at Millers Thrillers Zombie Paintball Hayride and Haunted Woods, but it isn't mere craving for blood or brains that makes them so eager to terrify––the scary staff members actually receive a bonus for making visitors wet themselves. Really. “I did always like Halloween," says founder and owner David Miller.
Miller wasn’t always in the pants-wetting business, but you might say the business of Halloween is in his blood. He grew up growing and selling pumpkins with his grandfather and––though he admits he was too scared to try them as a kid––his interest in haunted houses led him to intense study in the art of scaring, including seminars and conventions. His interest in creating eerie worlds inspired him to begin his walk through haunted woods and zombie-paintball hayride––during which visitors wield mounted paintball guns to fire upon advancing zombies and blank canvases hurled by poltergeists. But landing a few paintball hits won't be enough to ease the natural terror of the haunt's surroundings. “There’s a lot of spooky stuff around all this country farmland… with no streetlights in sight,” Miller says. “We…play on the fact that people are going to feel like they’re lost in the middle of nowhere.”
Despite the fright fest’s scariness, Miller’s real aim is to give visitors a good time. Staff members go easy on little kids and the elderly, and at the end of the walk, customers can calm chattering teeth around a fire pit and rejoin the world of the living by gathering around the concession stand or a stage that hosts a nightly illusionist and zombie drum line.