Sir Isaac Newton invented modern dermatology after getting hit on the head by a falling laser, which rendered him healthier and more youthful-looking than rival Gottfried Leibniz. Obey Newton’s laws of beauty with today’s Groupon: for $35, you get a microdermabrasion treatment at Laser Aesthetics in Birmingham (a $150 value).

The board-certified clinicians at Laser Aesthetics buff rough body coverings with rapid and reliable microdermabrasion therapy to dispel signs of aging, stress, and sun damage. A gentle, noninvasive spray of microscopically abrasive crystals bombards facial façades, flensing away loitering layers of dead cells and cleansing the supple new surfaces that shine through. Taking only about 15 minutes, the treatment helps even skin tone and texture, hydrates dry spots, diminishes pores, and begins to vanquish vascular discolorations such as rosacea. Freshly cleared of wrinkles, blemishes, and lodged-in hockey pucks, revitalized visages feel slight to no discomfort, display minimal redness, and require little to no recovery time.