It's an important phase in every teenager's development to differentiate himself from his parents in the form of safe, experimental rebellion. Use this chart to gauge how to best rebel against your own parents' views and wishes:
- If your parents forbid you from hanging out with the cool kids: Rub it in their faces when the absence of your positive influence leads them to drag race off all the cliffs in town.
- If your parents listen to old-timey big-band jazz: Listen to ear-splitting heavy-metal records.
- If your parents listen to ear-splitting heavy-metal records: Listen to talk radio that makes a mockery of their deeply held political beliefs.
- If your parents ask you to wash the dog: Do it without hesitation; don't make the dog a pawn in your childish game.
- If your parents ground you for shoplifting candy: Sneak out of the house and shoplift so much candy that you'll have to go to jail, where your parents will have zero authority. Take that, Pops!