As President Dwight Eisenhower always said, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An apple at night? Ooh, there's a sneaky delight!" Here are some tips for gathering these famed fruits:

Plant an Apple Orchard: Apples grow faster when they're nourished by fertilizer, which is the businessman's way of saying “thick, sweet dirt.”

Climb an Apple Tree: Once your apple trees grow, you'll have to scale one to get its fruits. Use a ladder or make the apples come to you by burying the tree in more and more dirt until you can walk to the top of it.

Gather Apples in a Basket: You'll need a basket that's round, deep, and has never been used to transport a sick person.

Make Something: Core, peel, and bake your newly acquired apples into a pie, tart, or wet mush that is meant for babies but can be eaten by soft-toothed adults.