Hair removal gives shiftless lasers a creative outlet during their spare time, which would otherwise be spent harassing cats and blinding the Hubble. Give a beam a new purpose with today's Groupon: for $400, you get one year of unlimited laser hair removal on any valid treatment areas (maximum of one area per week; excludes chest, back, and legs) at Renew Wellness MedSpa in Aurora (up to a $5,000 value). Click here for a link to the 20 valid treatment areas.

The licensed clinical staff at Renew Wellness MedSpa—including a medical doctor, nurse practitioner, and registered nurse—repeatedly foil follicles with a year's worth of unlimited medical-grade laser hair-removal treatments. The fast and efficient Syneron laser uses optical energy and radio frequencies to eliminate fur and leave skin surfaces as smooth as a satin-cloaked dolphin, and a topical anesthetic gel and cooling machine keep epidermises at ease. The laser's elōs technology can banish sideburns, defuzz bikini lines, or prepare underarms before engaging in shirtless semaphore. Most patients experience no side effects and minimal to no downtime; however, like the aftermath of confessing a teenage crush on Alex Trebek, temporary reddening may occur. Five to six treatments on any given area may be required to achieve desired results.