Robots are good for many things, including freaking out dogs and launching war on mankind, but they often lack the gentleness of a human touch. Rather than having bitter robots washing your car at a gas station, this deal gets your ride the luxurious washing it deserves at Canton Car Wash. For $18, your vehicle can get a platinum interior and exterior cleaning ($34.95 value for cars; $37.90 value for minivans, SUVs, or trucks).

Canton Car Wash pampers autos with the tender care most people reserve for friends, pets, and lonely mail carriers. Your platinum wash includes a thorough, environmentally friendly exterior wash that scrubs the bugs off the grill, gets the grime off the wheels, and rubs the muck off the underside of the bumper. Then the interior receives some tender, loving care as the team squeegies away peanut-butter smears on the window, wipes off peanut butter on the dashboard, cleans the peanut butter out of the center console and door jams, vacuums up globs of peanut butter embedded in the carpet, and spoons old peanut butter out the ashtray to make a peanut-butter sandwich.

Voted best in 2009 by Baltimore Magazine, the venerable washery abides by a strict environmental pledge. A state-of-the-art filtration system recycles nearly 90% of all water used in each cleaning. Owners John, Tom, and Chris have made every decision with Mother Nature in mind, right down to its reduced-water bathrooms. In perhaps its most green feature, the facility also boasts an espresso bar with free WiFi, providing future planeteers the tools for environmentally based Internet research.

Reviews

Baltimore Magazine spotlights Canton Car Wash's eco-friendly practices and named it Best Car Wash on its Best of Baltimore 2009 list:

• Longtime car wash proprietors insisted on the need for harsh chemicals for a sparkling finish. But [Canton Car Wash] stuck to their guns and the result is the City's first and only all "green" car wash. A $75,000 water filtration system recycles 80 to 90 percent of the 8,175-square-foot facility's water, all cleaning products are biodegradable, and disposable utensils at the car wash's chic espresso bar are bamboo. – Jessica Leshnoff

Baltimore City Paper named Canton Car Wash Best Car Wash on its Best of Baltimore list in 2009:

• Automation has ruined the car wash in two ways: first, by allowing the soap scum-leaving, antenna-breaking gas-station machines to proliferate, and, second, by turning hand washing services over to fundraising teenagers. Canton Car Wash re-introduces the professional, high-end car wash to Baltimore, and does it with class. Not only do you get a full-service wash for a couple of 10-spots (more for waxing), you also have the option of waiting in its espresso-serving coffee shop. For the truly obsessed, it offers a monthly plan: Pay a flat fee and get unlimited washes. – Baltimore City Paper

Carfight ‘99

Your car might need more than the average polish if you participated in the legendary auto-combat event Carfight ‘99. For those too young to remember, it was a weekend-long tournament of indoor automobile fighting so intense that the league was subsequently disbanded by international authorities. With the 10th anniversary of the seminal carfight rapidly approaching, here are some of the moments we’re looking back on:

Hour 2: Early favorite to win Slam “The Man” Sapphire is unexpectedly ejected in the first round after a wholly accidental T-boning from first-time competitor, nine-year-old Lily Bartlett.
Hour 23: The boars are released, allowing the desperate or foolhardy to attempt to hunt their own lunch.
Hour 37: A maniacally cackling Emory “Popeye” McAllister stands on the roof of his 1985 Ford Tempo and sets fire to his own legendary hair.
Hour 40: Dougie Samuels, heir to the Samuels Soap Bar fortune, brakes hard, turns 280 degrees and pops the handbrake, powersliding into estranged rival twin Ashley, and screaming “I love you,” before both disappear forever in a bolt of lightning.